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March 2009
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Dec. 6th, 2020
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Mar. 2nd, 2008
Venom Quill's latest 'article' appearing on January 6
Minister of magic knocks up Auror
Jones remains in dangerous job despite lovechild
Late breaking news recently has alerted me to a sexual scandal that threatens to shake the rafters of our very society. Dominic Abbott, Minister of Magic, who lost his first wife very recently to a Death Eater attack, was seen recently leaving a medical office with his girlfriend, and sources confirm that she is indeed pregnant. However, rather than do the proper thing, like announcing the child’s impending arrival, or getting engaged to Jones, or even persuading her to quit the job that threatens her life and her child’s on a daily basis, Abbott has instead chosen to put forth no more effort than it takes to keep Jones’s pregnancy swept under the rug.
Jones, who hasn’t even been involved publically with the minister for a year, sets a poor example for young girls by allowing a relationship with the Minister to compromise the integrity of her job, as well as for endangering the child that resulted from that relationship. Did she seduce the minister when he was on public time, conceive this child in his very office? Did she think that trapping Abbott with a child would lead to him proposing marriage? Clearly she was mistaken. Little is known about Jones other than the barest facts: she seems obsessed with coffee (which is troubling when you consider her pregnancy), she’s in her early forties, and she’s never married. Though my sources confirmed that the child appears to be healthy for now, one never can tell what effect stresses and dangers will have. If the child suffers for its mother’s foolishness, will Abbott sweep his own son or daughter from public eyes as well? Will he send it away like he did his own first child after the death of his wife?
Do we even trust Abbott with another child? After all, what if things go amiss with Jones or if she gets herself killed in the line of duty (assuming, of course, that she gets herself killed AFTER the child’s birth, there’s a very good chance it might happen before and end Abbott’s need to worry) and he’s stuck raising a baby that he never wanted to begin with? Given his actions in sending Hannah Abbott out of the country after the death of her mother, it doesn’t sound too unfounded. Would he send this baby in a basket to some unknown relative, or expect his own grown daughter to raise it for him? Clearly SOMEONE in this child’s life has to be an adult and raise it, as neither parent seems to have the capabilities of doing so now.
Shame on you, Abbott! I vote for candidates who display strong family values, and at the time you seemed to display the most. Shame on you, Jones! You have sunk to a new level of despicable desperation for seducing our minister and for refusing to give up even a little few of your own desires for the sake of your child. You should both be fired for the poor example that you set for our youth. I ask…no, I DEMAND your swift resignations. Perhaps then you will both be remembered as more than this, though I doubt that your actions in the future will allow even that to happen.
Jones remains in dangerous job despite lovechild
Late breaking news recently has alerted me to a sexual scandal that threatens to shake the rafters of our very society. Dominic Abbott, Minister of Magic, who lost his first wife very recently to a Death Eater attack, was seen recently leaving a medical office with his girlfriend, and sources confirm that she is indeed pregnant. However, rather than do the proper thing, like announcing the child’s impending arrival, or getting engaged to Jones, or even persuading her to quit the job that threatens her life and her child’s on a daily basis, Abbott has instead chosen to put forth no more effort than it takes to keep Jones’s pregnancy swept under the rug.
Jones, who hasn’t even been involved publically with the minister for a year, sets a poor example for young girls by allowing a relationship with the Minister to compromise the integrity of her job, as well as for endangering the child that resulted from that relationship. Did she seduce the minister when he was on public time, conceive this child in his very office? Did she think that trapping Abbott with a child would lead to him proposing marriage? Clearly she was mistaken. Little is known about Jones other than the barest facts: she seems obsessed with coffee (which is troubling when you consider her pregnancy), she’s in her early forties, and she’s never married. Though my sources confirmed that the child appears to be healthy for now, one never can tell what effect stresses and dangers will have. If the child suffers for its mother’s foolishness, will Abbott sweep his own son or daughter from public eyes as well? Will he send it away like he did his own first child after the death of his wife?
Do we even trust Abbott with another child? After all, what if things go amiss with Jones or if she gets herself killed in the line of duty (assuming, of course, that she gets herself killed AFTER the child’s birth, there’s a very good chance it might happen before and end Abbott’s need to worry) and he’s stuck raising a baby that he never wanted to begin with? Given his actions in sending Hannah Abbott out of the country after the death of her mother, it doesn’t sound too unfounded. Would he send this baby in a basket to some unknown relative, or expect his own grown daughter to raise it for him? Clearly SOMEONE in this child’s life has to be an adult and raise it, as neither parent seems to have the capabilities of doing so now.
Shame on you, Abbott! I vote for candidates who display strong family values, and at the time you seemed to display the most. Shame on you, Jones! You have sunk to a new level of despicable desperation for seducing our minister and for refusing to give up even a little few of your own desires for the sake of your child. You should both be fired for the poor example that you set for our youth. I ask…no, I DEMAND your swift resignations. Perhaps then you will both be remembered as more than this, though I doubt that your actions in the future will allow even that to happen.
Jan. 31st, 2008
Narcissa Malfoy Exposes Ward to Turbulent Three-Some
Socialite brings children into twisted polygamist house
(Below the title is the picture that was taken of Rabastan and Narcissa as Allyssa pulled them so close that they were nearly nose to nose. In a corner of the picture is a smaller picture, this time of Narcissa and Aiden laughing about something)
You, dear reader, will of course remember all of the times that this publication has alerted you to the scandalous ways that leaders in society, particularly the Malfoy family, do things which are immoral and unthinkable, so I'm certain that you will trust me when I warn you of the next low that the family has sunk to.
But first, a question. How much is a man prepared to give up in order to secure his freedom? Is he content to be little more than a side dish simply so he can sleep his way to a life of freedom? Is he content to see his wedding overshadowed by the actions of a wanton harlot of a mother with her two dates? Is he prepared to lose what little is left of his pride as people whisper about the fact that the woman he is involved with has a strange man and his bossy know-it-all of a daughter living under her roof? Is he prepared to have his mother's two lovers standing at his side as he marries? Perhaps one should ask those questions of Rabastan Lestrange and Draco Malfoy. Has the prison system and Narcissa Malfoy's precious centre turned them into eunuchs? Has it stolen their manhood as well as their pride?
You see, dear reader, there have been rumours circulating for some time about Lady Malfoy's lack of morality. Now that her relationship with a man convicted of using Unforgivables against the Longbottom family is slowing down to a normal pace, Narcissa has turned to a new form of debauchery—the threesome. With both men's children living under her roof, Narcissa gladly makes a mockery of them, living with one and openly seeing the other. What will happen to poor little Miss Sarcelles when Lestrange is released? Will she watch her father vie for affection? Will she find herself homeless? Where did this man come from? At least with Lestrange you know about his past, it appears Sarcelles just appeared in France one day..out of the blue as though he ascended from hell itself. And speaking of Lestrange, will he fight for Narcissa Malfoy's affections when his first goals should be regaining his manhood, earning an honest living, and learning to be something resembling a capable father? Perhaps they'll all live together in one happy demented little family. One can only hope the innocent girls don't have the misfortune to discover the three of them in bed and grow up to be harlots like their guardian.
We here at the Venom Quill strive to bring morality and decency back to our society. We will pay 100 galleons to anyone with information about Aiden Sarcelles's mysterious past, 50 galleons for information related to other misdeeds by well known people, including but not limited to: Daphne and Draco Malfoy, Dominic and Hannah Abbott, other Ministry officials, Kingsley Shacklebolt and other aurors. Quidditch stars, and anyone else of note. We will keep you posted.
Socialite brings children into twisted polygamist house
(Below the title is the picture that was taken of Rabastan and Narcissa as Allyssa pulled them so close that they were nearly nose to nose. In a corner of the picture is a smaller picture, this time of Narcissa and Aiden laughing about something)
You, dear reader, will of course remember all of the times that this publication has alerted you to the scandalous ways that leaders in society, particularly the Malfoy family, do things which are immoral and unthinkable, so I'm certain that you will trust me when I warn you of the next low that the family has sunk to.
But first, a question. How much is a man prepared to give up in order to secure his freedom? Is he content to be little more than a side dish simply so he can sleep his way to a life of freedom? Is he content to see his wedding overshadowed by the actions of a wanton harlot of a mother with her two dates? Is he prepared to lose what little is left of his pride as people whisper about the fact that the woman he is involved with has a strange man and his bossy know-it-all of a daughter living under her roof? Is he prepared to have his mother's two lovers standing at his side as he marries? Perhaps one should ask those questions of Rabastan Lestrange and Draco Malfoy. Has the prison system and Narcissa Malfoy's precious centre turned them into eunuchs? Has it stolen their manhood as well as their pride?
You see, dear reader, there have been rumours circulating for some time about Lady Malfoy's lack of morality. Now that her relationship with a man convicted of using Unforgivables against the Longbottom family is slowing down to a normal pace, Narcissa has turned to a new form of debauchery—the threesome. With both men's children living under her roof, Narcissa gladly makes a mockery of them, living with one and openly seeing the other. What will happen to poor little Miss Sarcelles when Lestrange is released? Will she watch her father vie for affection? Will she find herself homeless? Where did this man come from? At least with Lestrange you know about his past, it appears Sarcelles just appeared in France one day..out of the blue as though he ascended from hell itself. And speaking of Lestrange, will he fight for Narcissa Malfoy's affections when his first goals should be regaining his manhood, earning an honest living, and learning to be something resembling a capable father? Perhaps they'll all live together in one happy demented little family. One can only hope the innocent girls don't have the misfortune to discover the three of them in bed and grow up to be harlots like their guardian.
We here at the Venom Quill strive to bring morality and decency back to our society. We will pay 100 galleons to anyone with information about Aiden Sarcelles's mysterious past, 50 galleons for information related to other misdeeds by well known people, including but not limited to: Daphne and Draco Malfoy, Dominic and Hannah Abbott, other Ministry officials, Kingsley Shacklebolt and other aurors. Quidditch stars, and anyone else of note. We will keep you posted.